Following in the great tradition of other sports sites, it’s only fair we give the newest members of the Ohio Valley Conference some all-name love. So, here is the first ever OVC Ball signing day all-name team.
Z Stephenson, OL, Eastern Kentucky: Not only is Z’s first name just a letter, it’s the coolest letter in the alphabet. If it were “G” or “L” it just wouldn’t be a cool? But Z is just too awesome to not include.
Keith Wrzuszczak, P, Eastern Kentucky: We can thank Australia for this last name, which will be the bane of every play-by-play man on fourth down. The comparison between the very easy to say first name and impossible to avoid second name cemented his all-name status. Fun fact: he trained for the Aussie National Team in pole vault.
St. Pierre Anilus, LB, Murray State: Seriously, the guys’ name is St. Pierre. Saint freaking Pierre. Do I really even need to explain this one.
Torrodd Carter, WR, Eastern Kentucky: I kind of feel like his parents wanted to name him Todd, and then just threw some extra letters in the middle. It’s very unique, and I’ve never met, or likely ever will meet, another Torrodd. I’m also setting the over/under at the number of times I misspell it at 27.
Quantavise Stoudemire, LB, Jacksonville State: Speaking of names I’ll struggle to spell is this one. Usually, when someone has such a strong last name like Stoudemire, the first name doesn’t stack up. This time is the clear exception, as the first name is equally as strong.
Shaquille Fluker, S, Jacksonville State: One of many Shaquille’s entering college this year, (…I wonder why?) he makes the list for a) not being a lineman and b) Fluker is just fun to say.
David Wall, DB, Austin Peay: This only works because his last name is Wall, and he’s a defensive back. It’s a color commentary’s dream name.
Tequarri Whitlow, ATH, Tennessee State: This combines the uniqueness of “Tequarri” and is just an overall fun name to say.
Dakota Rushing, DL, Tennessee Tech: Thank you for not being a running back!
Griffin Pickler, QB, SEMO: The over/under on “in a pickle” references in a game is off the chart.
Cameron Kowalewski, OL, Eastern Kentucky: (Pictured, No. 61 Above) The Colonels really racked up all-namers this year. The way Kowalewski rolls off the tongue is simply fantastic, and it’s just a shame we won’t hear it that often being an offensive lineman.
Jonathan Draper, S, Eastern Illinois: What, no Mad Men love?
Kyle Naes, OL, UT Martin: This isn’t hard to say. It’s only four letters, it can’t be hard to say. But it wins our award for name most likely to be confused for a typo.
Kagen Skidmore, OL, Eastern Kentucky: Let’s just be honest, this last name is quite unfortunate for the 13-year old in all of us.